Updated: Feb 18
Sounds little harsh doesn't it, but I'm one for being honest. There are some areas within your wedding day, that your guests don't actually care about.
Before I go into these details, let's remember your friends and family care about you, so if these things are important to you, they will love them. But they don't actually care about them in the same way you do. So my point is, do not sweat the small stuff if things are getting on top of you, or if budget is becoming an issue, then remember these things and ultimately go with what makes you happy.
All of these things are amazing ways to add detail to your day and if they make you happy and bring your design together and work within your budget, then go for them! The point of this post is to remind you, what your guests think of as a whole, so that you don't start feeling burdened by all the details.
I am guilty of 6 out of these 8 things myself!
Now when I say guests don't care about your wedding invitations, they clearly care about being invited to your wedding. They will no doubt open the invite and get excited and may even comment on how pretty or how 'you' they are. they may even go on the fridge. But ultimately those invitations are going to end up in the bin.
So when deciding on your stationery and going through your budget, remember that the decision to have beautiful stationery is for you, because ultimately your guests will like them no matter what, they don't care how the come package.
Note: I absolutely LOVE wedding stationery and will always be a fridge sticker with invites. But again the do ultimately go in the bin.
This is one of the areas I went to town on and made hand made mini bunting on every single one of my invites!! Im sure my guests didn't appreciate it, but I absolutely loved them.
Programs / Orders of Service
Sadly with this being another piece of stationery, it kind of falls into the same category as invitations. The will inevitably go into the bin and guests may not appreciate the thought and design gone into them. However these little things are very helpful on the day and can also get someone out of trouble if a hymn is to be sung!
My point being, they will not care about the design and style, so don't stress in this area if you don't have to or things are getting too much.
Note: Again I made orders of service to match my invitations! Mini bunting included and it made me happy! I knew they would last all of 30 minutes, then likely go in the bin, but I loved them.
Your guests are unlikely to notice your table linen. They will no doubt be in deep conversation, enjoying the celebrations and the bubbles. they are unlikely to have a conversation about the colour of the table linen.
Trestle tables are also in style right now and having them naked looks amazing. but if you do want to table linen, then stick with neutrals, you can slip away from white if it fits your design better, but there is no need to splurge here as your guests won't care.
However if for you the design is everything and you do care (I feel you), then go for it girl! If the whole table styling is what you've been looking forward to, then add all the details you want. these will be at an extra cost, but the detail will look amazing. Your guests are unlikely to discuss your table linen, but they will no doubt talk about the picture as a whole.
Plates are something your guests really don't care about. They will most definitely be interested in the food on the plate, but they are unlikely to notice the plates themselves. If you have the budget, then I would always say add as much detail as you can, because it completes your design and the overall look of your day. But your guests are unlikely to take too much notice. That being said, choosing a nice charger plate can add to your tables cape detail as it sits on the table before the meal is served.
Note: Building a tables cape is my favourite part of the wedding design process and I love the look chargers can bring to a design. If I had my time again I would have done this. But not all budgets will stretch to these added details and it will not be noticed by your guests.
Favours, to have them or not. Shall we be honest.... ow many times have you seen favours left on a table at the end of a wedding? Pretty much every wedding I've been to or worked!
I think unless your favour is something that is personal to you and the guests or a consumable, they are likely to be eft behind. Remind them need to be able to fit in a guests bag or pocket as well and not be a hinders. Food and drink always goes down well and will usually be consumed at the wedding.
Note: I spent hours making chilli am for my wedding. I absolutely loved spending the time making it with my husband and although some where left behind, we just scooped them up and kept them, because it was so yummy. But I think because it was something our guests liked, the majority went home and we had comments for months on how yummy it was!
You may spend hours searching for the right pair of wedding shoes to make your outfit feel complete. That is absolutely fine. But that will be to make you feel happy and feel confident on your wedding day. your guests are unlikely to even notice your wedding shoes, because they probably won't see them from under your dress.
Choose a pair you can wear again after your wedding, so they get more wear and bare in mind walking on the grass in stilettos!!
Note: I had 2 pairs of shoes. One for the day, gold and glittery and very me at the time. I then had a pair of converse trainers which I had added diamonds to for the evening as I knew I wanted to dance the night away and save my feet! Not many people saw them, but I loved them!
The reality is cake is a tradition and not many people actually eat it on your wedding day. My advice here is to have something you know your guests will devour and have a small cake or a tier to add to a patisserie table or cheese station, for you to cut. Too often cake is being handed out when guests leave because it hasn't been eaten. so don't stress about the cake unless you know its perfect for you and you love cake.
Your guests are unlikely to care about your guestbook. By this point in the evening they have had a few drinks and are on the dance floor. You can end up with some strange messages and drawings across the pages. Is it also something that you are going to keep looking back over?
That may actually appeal to you however. The comedy is good when reading funny messages from guests and it may be something you want to keep.
alternatively create something fun to entertain your guests and be a moment for you to keep as well?
So these 8 points are all areas of your day that will make you day special to you. You can add detail and personality. But don't stress about what your guests think. Your guests will not care about all the details. What they will care about is YOU, your love for each other, whether you are happy with your wedding day, plus the food and entertainment!
If stress is something you are worrying about, then consider some of these pints.
Thanks to our lovely photographers:
Photo 1 and 3: Mindy Coe Photography
Photo 2: Sophie Duckworth Photography