Updated: Aug 11
So let's jump into all the wedding myths circulating out there! I mean I have heard a LOT in my time as a wedding planning. Things that were said back when I was a bride, before I was a professional wedding planner and totally assumed to be real, but now thing jeez, I wish someone had told me!
So I'm here to tell you!
Let's dispel the nonsense from the truth and make your planning a little smoother sailing!
"You have to follow the traditions"
As far as i'm concerned traditions are lovely, but personal. What you will find is more and more people are creating weddings that are flexible, personal to themselves and breaking 'the rules' on traditions. The way I see it, is a wedding day is an extension of who you both are as a couple. If sticking to some of the more rigid traditions, isn't for you, that's ok. The only one I would suggest following is actually ensuring your wedding is legal. I mean thats more of a legality that a tradition, but you see what I'm saying!
When it comes to things such as 'something old, new borrowed and blue', you may think thats cute, I want to incorporate it. You may however decide that a receiving line isn't for you. Perhaps you want to keep your wedding bouquet and dry it, instead of doing a bouquet toss? And maybe you want to have a dessert table or cheese instead of cutting a cake. There are no set rules for weddings now a days. Take what you love and adapt the rest to suit you and your day.
Who to Invite
" You should invite.......because......"
So I'll be honest, this one get's my goat a little bit! Let me just point out right at the start, it is your wedding day and you can make any decision you like about who you would like to be there to see you marry.
If you went to a friends wedding a few years ago, but since then the friendship isn't what it was. You are not obligated to invite them. If your friend is current single, you are not obligated to invite a plus one and have someone watch you marry, that you may have never met! If you are asked to invite the lady that helped look after you a few times when you were a child, but you don't really remember her, you do not have to invite her.
I can feel political when it comes to writing your guest list and you do feel like you have to please people. But my overriding feeling here is always, this day is about YOU. It's about celebrating YOUR love with those that are the most special to YOU. If you do not want to invite any of the above, or feel pressure to do so, my hope is that wherever the pressure is coming from, those people will understand it is your day and they care enough to want you to be happy.
Finding the perfect venue
So when people talk about finding the perfect venue I have to ensure I don't sound like a pessimist, because that certainly isn't my style. However I am very much a realist and for me, finding your 'perfect' venue is about compromise. It's like buying a house. No house will have absolutely everything you want, unless you are designing it from the ground up. You are willing to compromise on somethings. I think the same of venue searching. No what you are looking for, know what you are willing to comprise on if needed and absolutely know what you don't want!
That way you will find the 'perfect' venue for your day.
You may hear a phrase such as 'oh you'll be charged more because its a wedding'. This is utter nonsense!
Suppliers in the wedding industry charge on time, skill, experience and knowledge.
There are suppliers for every price point, with different experience and skills.
A florist for example, will not charge more because it is a wedding. They will charge depending on the design, the amount of perdition needed, the amount of hands needed to create the design, the price point of the flowers in the market at that time, the seasonality of the flowers and the demand. Whether they are expect to stay on site longer on the day to assist turnaround and so on.
A wedding photographer, will not charge more because it is a wedding. They will charge according to their experience and expertise. Taking in to consideration their kit and and therefore skills. They will charge on not only, the amount of hours they are needed don the day, but also the amount of hours editing your special moment.
Remember the time, skill and experience that goes in to the full picture.
DIY saves money
Sometimes yes, but not always!
You need to consider the size of the project and what is involved. How much of your time do you need to give up to create your DIY project. Will buying something or paying for a supplier help save you time and stress. What can often be the case as well, is that taking on a DIY project can end up costing more money, as you don't always realise all the costs involved. If its the personalisation and fun taking part in a DIY project, thats great. My suggestion would be, if you have the time and the passion to take on DIY wedding tasks, decide what you want to take on, but don't do too much. You don't want to start making the planning an overwhelming experience, nor more costly than you originally thought.
Wedding Planner Is a Luxury
As you can imagine, this is an area I am pretty passionate about. I think a wedding planner is for everyone. That may be in the form of a slightly different services, but I most defiantly do not think it is an expensive luxury.
A wedding planner will in fact save you money, time and effort with your planning. By having experience and great contacts, they can negotiate on your behalf and no what could be a costly decision. Not to mention they can make the process smoother with their experience and give you back your time!
They are experts, with knowledge, confidence and great contacts. This will not be their first rodeo. They will guide you and know the industry inside out, to help you make the right decisions for you.
They almost become a mentor on helping create you perfect wedding day.
They are there to support, understand your ideas, develop them further and deliver on the day.
They help Crete memorable experiences
They work tirelessly for you, with your best interests at heart. Ensuring everything is flawless, just as you would want it!
To me this is something everyone should be entitled too. It is not a luxury. A wedding is the biggest most important day of your life. And most of you will have not planned one before, so it's almost planning blind. Finding a planner that understands you and that you connect with, should be part of the wedding process.
A wedding planner will take over
I mean I cannot talk for everyone, but 99.9% of wedding planners will most definitely NOT do this!
A wedding planner is there to assist you, turn your dream wedding into a reality and help guide you through the process. It is not their day, nor is it their decisions.
On the wedding day, they will have you best interests at heart, make decision that reflect you and what you would want. they will usually be working away in the background, ensuring everything runs smoothly. Finding someone you connect with, that understands you is key!
Marquee / At home weddings are cheaper
So you think, ok I want to have our wedding in my parents back garden. It will likely save us money as we have the space already. Sadly this is on the whole not the case. Remember if you decide to have a marquee or back garden wedding, you are essentially paying to put up your own venue. You will need to cinder the structure, flooring, lighting, power, toilets, kitchen and so on.
I absolutely love marquee weddings. they are a blank canvas and that is what Bluebird Loves best, whether it is a marquee or blank canvas venue. However it most definitely does not mean that they are cheaper. So make sure you factor in ALL your costs before making your decision.
Thank you to our lovely photographers:
Images 1, 2, 3, 4 and 6: Sophie Duckworth Photography
Images 5and 8: James Davidson Photography
Image 7: Mindy Coe Photography